MASTERING MASTURBATION by Doctor Wale Funsho

Wow! I never imagined that the thoughts of my heart, when given a little voice could elicit such responses as I have had from the topic. Although I admit it is a very controversial topic, all I stated in the last write-up was my opinion based on what the Spirit of God revealed me to.
Firstly I must apologise for not giving a definition to masturbation in the first part (I never even knew there would be a second part!)- my bad. I assumed everyone already knew what I was talking about since it was so common a phenomenon, an open secret actually.

Secondly, much as I value every comment made, the whole essence of the piece was not to bring condemnation to the doorsteps of anyone, but to let all know that something might actually be wrong with what might have been considered safe all along. Like Jesus faced the woman caught in the act of adultery when He asked her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” (John 8:10-11 NKJV) The same way I stand to declare to all caught in its web to go and sin no more.

Like I said, I got very good opinions pointing out the fact that I didn’t mention step by step means (or method) of how to be delivered from the claws of masturbation (if it has any) and I intend to address such points here to the best of my ability.
I don’t want to talk as an authority on the subject and neither do I want to sound hypocritical in my approach to it as many times I have found out that people who criticize some matters the most with strong expressions of opposition and vehemence are actually guilty of such matters! They tend to indirectly talk to themselves without having a way out for themselves.

Defining Masturbation
To start with, let me attempt to define masturbation so that we don’t confuse it with some other things. According to Encarta dictionary, it means “to give yourself or somebody else sexual pleasure by stroking the genitals, usually to orgasm” while oxford dictionary says “it is to stimulate the genitals with the hand.” These definitions differ from homosexuality or lesbianism, although it could be practiced in any of the settings.

While homosexuality refers to sexual relations between or among men, lesbianism refers to sexual relations between or among women. Stroking could be with the hands or vibrators (and other sex toys) as is seen today, like some guys who buy female dolls with vagina (you know for what purpose! And did I just catch you say eww?) and girls who buy vibrators for clitoral stimulation. How different are these from hand stimulation? A bit refined though! But does that excuse the fact that the sacred has been abused? Let’s brood on that.

Masturbation in Marriage
Care should also be taken not to confuse genital stimulation by one’s spouse with masturbation as that in itself is part of the sexual relations between a husband and wife and this could occur in foreplay. But a situation where the one person now resorts to solo sex, possibly because of the unavailability of the spouse, is he/she excused from that wrong? No! Because by doing so, he/she has reduced the sex partner to a mere fantasy because hardly will anyone masturbate without having a sexual fantasy and the married ones may be tempted to think that they are not committing adultery since their fantasy is with their spouses! Wrong again. The error in this thinking is that such people do not realize that with time, they do not get as much pleasure from their spouse as they derive from solo sex and as such look forward to the solo sex rather than a healthy sexual relations with their spouse. To me, that’s a form of idolatry (that’s just my own thinking!)

Mastering Masturbation
That aside, how does a person master masturbation? That’s the one million dollar (or naira) question. My answer? I wish I knew. Don’t get me wrong by thinking I have no solution to this question, but what I may not have is the step by step method of being free. Follow me in my reasoning, if you please. I appreciate the fact that many are ‘hooked’ and want to be free. Our parents haven’t made it easy at all (because we were not thoroughly lectured on sex and possible perversions) and the church has not made it any better because they wield the gavel of judgment without showing the way out! We‘re only told things like this are wrong but hardly taught what to do to get out of the ‘prison’ but I in turn, fear such teachings because our ‘teachers’ are quickly overtaken by legalism and impose the ‘touch not, taste not, handle not’ doctrine.
I want to jump to say, “if you follow these steps, it’s d way out,” but the God I’ve come to know doesn’t work that way. In any case, many may not see things from my point of view, believing as far as they are concerned, that masturbation is God’s way of protecting them from fornication, but each time they indulged in it, they are weighed down by guilt. What is the way out?

I know I made reference to the fact that I was caught in the web of masturbation for a long time but people want to know how I broke free, the methods I followed, so they could be free. I will tell you, but let me disappoint you before reading on that it is not a step by step approach. Let me quickly point out here that Jesus, when he walked the earth, healed blindness in three different ways and drove out demons in different ways. I believe that when it comes to the issues of masturbation, being free is not limited to a particular step.

A Simple Heartfelt Prayer
Each time I masturbated, my heart would condemn me and I repented many times only to find myself in the same boat (hope I’m speaking your mind too). The way out for me was simple though I found it after a long time. Suffice it to say that deliverance services and altar calls did not do it, neither did fastings, but a simple heartfelt prayer with a determination to die did the trick. When I said the determination to die, I meant it.
The Lord opened my eyes to a scriptures that, when added to my desire, set me free. He said, “You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.” (Hebrews 12:4) By this He meant that sin does not thrive in death. A dead man cannot sin and if I consider myself dead or I bind myself with the oath of death should I commit sin, then sin will no longer be an issue. Sin finds root where desire is fanned.

I felt a burden roll away and immediately I did away with anything that contained any form of sensuality or nudity especially movies and guess what? The desire to masturbate is just no longer there. Does it mean I cannot fall into the trap again? Of course I can if I allow myself to be exposed to the ‘allergens’ but I have learnt from Apostle Paul that, "...whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy- (I should) meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8 (Emphasis mine)

The way out will be different for everyone
My point here is that the way God dealt with me would obviously be different from the way He would deal with another of His child. For some, He may require fasting, for others, He may require deliverance; God’s ways are mysterious but all I would say is that once we take our issues to Calvary, there’s always help for us provided we go with an open heart and a strong determination never to return. So for a divorced, single, or married person with distant relationship with the spouse, who wants to be free, the single most important criterion is to have an avid desire for freedom; that, the Father will not turn down.

With broken cord and shouts of victory, many cheers!

Wale Funsho, a medical doctor by training, is a teacher of the Word, who currently pastors the Faith Assembly Parish of the Redeemed Christian Church of God in Abuja.
He has a God-given mandate to impact his generation, especially the youths at all levels, bringing to bare true life issues as he leads them through the maze of life by the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
He is married to Abimbola and they are blessed with two children- Temiloluwa and Daniel.
He can be reached on walefunsho@yahoo.com

The Sex Series is an online bible class where God's perspective on the subject of sex is taught in a no holds barred style
 www.thesexseries.blogspot.com, thesexseries@gmail.com

ACHIEVING SEXUAL INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE by Doctor Gbenga Adebayo, Part 2

The Sex Series is back!!!
We conclude Doctor Gbenga Adebayo's Class on Achieving Sexual Intimacy in Marriage.

4.       SheMyth: It is my husband’s job to satisfy me in bed
This is a rather common myth. It is perpetuated in kind by the widespread belief that the bed is an arena where men conquer women. They have heard many tales on the “exploits” of men in the bedroom. So many women enter marriage expecting their husband to also do exploits on them. Unfortunately for the vast majority, this expectation is dashed.

The Fact: Either female or male, the most important factor in your sexual gratification is you. Should you not want it, there is little anyone can do to make you a sexually fulfilled person. You cannot be an inactive passenger in the journey to sexually bliss. You have to be an active co-pilot. Tell your husband what you want and when you want it. It may surprise you, but many men are clueless on what really pleases their wives. Make your husband one of the educated lovers. Encourage him with sounds and moans of pleasure when he does the right things. Guide his hands when they are going astray. Guide his thrusts. Should he ejaculate before you have had your fill, try not to hiss. Express your disappointment in a sexy loving way and help him have another erection. For many men, the second erection lasts much longer than the first.

Take charge of your “sexual destiny” today. Change your mentality. You are not a passenger. You are a co-pilot.

5.       SheMyth: He may not like how I look naked

I have found out that many women don’t like how they look naked. They wish they looked like someone other than themselves. In fact, many women cannot boldly stand in front of a full-length mirror and look at (if not admire) their own bodies. There are many reasons why this is so, but that is not the subject of discussion today. The issue is that many women believe the man in their lives also share this dislike of their delicate anatomy. They wonder and are tormented by the thought of what their partner (and even the society at large) thinks about their bodies. They are tormented by questions like: “...are my hips wide enough?”, “...are my breasts sagging?”, “...my buttocks are not round enough”, my legs are too thin or too fat”,  .........(fill in the blank spaces).

The Fact: As far as sexual intercourse goes, most men don’t notice many physical things women are worried about. The more important things for a man in a sexual relationship is the enthusiasm of his partner and how well she satisfies the need to him to feel he is able to satisfy “his woman”. Some men will leave their fine “figure-8” wife at home and actually pay money to have sex with a short-fat-pudgy looking prostitute. As far as they are concerned, what the “ugly” prostitute may lack in beauty she more than makes up for in attitude, confidence, and enthusiasm (got that acronym? ACE. Memorize it! © Dr. Gbenga Adebayo)

I am not saying you shouldn’t strive to look the best you possibly can. No that is very far from my point. Practice hygiene. Look your best always. Dress smartly and in beautiful clothes. There is sexy lingerie for women of all sizes. Get a few. Exercise and live a healthy lifestyle.

Please stop worrying about what is or not about your body. Take charge of your bedroom. Your ACE (attitude, confidence, and enthusiasm) are more important.

7.       HeSheMyth: Great sex is not for everyone

Please let me ask you: why do you have sex? Some people see sexual intercourse as a task that must be performed to keep the devil at bay. Some others believe sex is only intended for procreation needs only and as such couples should have sex only when they want to have children.

I believe sex is a great gift God has given couples for primarily for enjoyment and consequentially for procreation. Sex is to be enjoyed. You can have a great sexual life with your partner if you both commit to pleasuring one another.

Great sex may be hard work (which is not tied to the bedroom!), but it is a rewarding work. You can enjoy sex every single time. Yes. Every single time you can have heart-pounding-heavy-panting-wild-shouting sex!

Dr. Adebayo, a physician, is the Chief Executive Officer of Livinghealth International. He is a Consultant on Health and Wellness Solutions as well as Leadership and Soft-People Skills to many organisations and government parastatals. His consultancy and training clientele consists of firms in the Oil and Gas, Financial, Advertising, Educational, Consulting, and Health Safety & Environment (HSE) sectors as well as Faith Based Organizations and Public Institutions. He is passionate about helping organizations and institutions bridge the divide and find the connection between health and productivity. He is a member of the Governing Council of the Emergency, Crisis, and Risk Management Institute of Nigeria.

Send your questions and comments to adebayo@livinghealth.com.ng
www.gbengaadebayo.com

The Sex Series is an online bible class where God's perspective on the subject of sex is taught in a no holds barred style
 www.thesexseries.blogspot.com, thesexseries@gmail.com

ACHIEVING SEXUAL INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE by Doctor Gbenga Adebayo

Note: This article is written with only married couples in mind.

Please permit me to ask you a question: who was your very first instructor on sex? By instructor I mean the very first source that you could understand that opened your mind to what human sexual intercourse is all about.  Your parents? A cousin? A friend? A magazine? A movie? If you are like most people I know, odds are you were introduced to sex not by your parents. I don’t also think it was done by someone who sat you down and in a rational, calm, and open way discussed what sex intercourse was all about.

From that very first introduction, you most probably would have had many “instructors” over the years gone by. With different sources of information, you have now come to possess a body of knowledge on the very germane issue of sex. Now let me ask another question: How confident are you about the veracity of your very own “gospel of sex” (please forgive the pun)?

Sexual intercourse is easily the most common night-time (some will say even daytime) activity all over the world. You don’t need to look very far to see a reference (subtle or otherwise) to the sexuality of us all. From clothes, to books, films, music, television, and all kinds of merchandise, references to sex and sexuality abound.
One would think that given the centrality and overwhelming visibility of sexuality in our modern-day society, most people should have factual knowledge on the act of sexual intercourse. But this is not so. Many people are totally clueless on the medical and social facts of sexual relations. Many myths abound as false knowledge and are widely accepted and disseminated as gospel truth. The end result of this is many are unsatisfied with their sexual adventure in life. This is so sad. Sexual intercourse can be very beautiful experience every single time.

My surveys of couples that have attended Livinghealth International School of Intimacy reveal that many couples are finding it very difficult achieving true sexual intimacy. In fact many have given up on pursing (not to talk of achieving) this ideal. For them, sexual intercourse has become a chore that must be dutifully performed. Some have even abandoned sex. I know a couple that have not had sex in 6 months! (I think the guy deserves an award.)

One of the hindrances to achieving sexual intimacy in my opinion are myths about sex. So rather attempting in this article to tell you how to touch and satisfy your wife or husband (don’t worry, in case you don’t know how, I will attempt to do that in another article), I want us to clear a few of the pervasive myths around.

Let’s look at a few of these myths.
1.        HeMyth: Size Matters
In my opinion, this is about the biggest pervasive myth men habour. There is in fact a whole industry built around fanning and milking this myth with great commercial success. From creams, to pumps and other contraptions, and various 100 %-“natural”-with-no-side-effect remedies, all have one thing in common: bogus claims to add length to your penis.

The Fact: The erect penis of 90% of men is 5-6 inches long and 4-5 inches thick irrespective of size when flaccid. If your penis is more than 2 inches long, you are more than adequately endowed to give pleasure to your partner. Why? The most sensitive part of the female vagina is just 2 inches long. In fact, a very big penis is a sexual nightmare for many women. It touches places not meant to be touched and can be a source of great discomfort and even severe pain.

A woman can be brought to orgasm (i.e. peak of sexual ecstasy) with even a little finger. I am positive you can achieve the same with your partner with whatever size your penis is. My survey in our School of Intimacy shows that while many men are worried about the sizes of their penises, their partners are more than thrilled with them.

On those creams, pumps and contraptions, and 100 %-“natural”-with-no-side-effect remedies, stop wasting your money. They are not effective.

2.       HeMyth: Women Like it Rough
You saw it in a movie. The lady was begging for it harder. The man was banging away. The lady was shouting and asking for more. The man became very aggressive and starting pumping like a train. With one great shout, calling her partner by name, she convulsed with pleasure. You thoroughly envied the man. Mama Thomas had never called your name before. In fact she hardly ever makes a sound. So you thought to yourself, I will do that with Mama Thomas next time. She must shout my name like that girl did. I am going to perform like a train. So the day arrived. You bought a small gift for Mama Thomas. You smiled and touched all the right keys and reached all the right notes. Strangely enough Mama Thomas also seemed in the mood that night.  Unknown to you, it was on account of the small gift and the little kindness you showed her all day long. So the action began and it seemed to be going well until you started to behave like a train. Mama Thomas shouted in pain, and pushed you off. Film over. Disappointment all around.

This myth amongst men stems from the way they experience pleasure and the way sexual intercourse is portrayed in pornography. A masturbating man easily evokes an image of a train. So many men feel if it takes more power and “action” to bring them to ecstasy, it must also be the same for their partners. This is not the case.

The Fact: The more sensitive parts (e.g. clitoris and vaginal) of the female anatomy are lines with sensitive and delicate “skin”. Too much roughness will result in pain rather than pleasure. Take your time. Follow her rhythm. Get her wet. A soft touch many a times may achieve much more than a violent thrust.

3.       HeMyth: I want her, she must want me too
A man can be angry. Very angry with his wife. He knows she is also very angry with him. So they are both angry. Yet she comes out of the bathroom. He spies her breasts through the short towel. He looks at her curves still feeling the anger thumping in his chest. Suddenly that is not the only thing thumping anymore. Something else starts to thump below. Before long, “Willie-Willie” (oh the funny names men give their penises!) is at full attention! He approaches her and she asks incredulously,”...please where is this coming from? You must be joking! Are we not fighting?” He can’t understand it. But he wants her in spite of his anger.

The Fact: Men and women are simply wired differently as far as arousal and sexual desires are concerned. This is not to say that all men when angry will still want to have sex with their wives. Certainly not. The point is that the desire path and curve in men and women are different. You will do well to bear this in mind. You probably have heard that men are stimulated by sight and women by words. This is one application of that fact. Hopefully someday we will look at this in more details.

4.      SheMyth: Men always want sex
This is arguably a forgivable myth. You have probably heard it said time and time again, “...all men think about is sex”. So you have come to accept it as the truth. That may even be your experience as far as relationships with the opposite sex go. It may be that all the men you have hitherto related with had only one goal in mind: get into a bed with you. So in marriage, when your husband appears not to be interested in you sexually anymore, you think the worst: he has a mistress outside, or he is becoming impotent.

The Fact: Men are averagely more “sexed-up” than women. By that I mean that the sexual appetite of the average man is more than the average woman. That is not to say that the more sexually demanding partner in relationship is always the man. It may be the woman. But more commonly it is the man.

Men however do not always think about sex neither are they always ready to have sex. In a loving and faithful marriage, there may be times when the man is either unable or unwilling to have sex.  The reasons for these may include tiredness. Yes! A man can also be tired. It may also be beyond simple tiredness. There are medical conditions that can affect a man’s libido. Social conditions can also affect a responsible man’s libido. I tell you it is possible for the next batch of School fees combined with rent payment can weigh so heavily on a man’s mind that he may not be able to perform as he should.  Someone has walked into my consulting room with such a condition. For other men, a habit of the wife may be the turn-off.

Maintain an open communication line with your husband. Don’t take the libido of your husband for granted. Some things can turn it off.

* TO BE CONTINUED IN PART TWO of THIS CLASS.

Licensed to: The Sex Series.
All rights reserved ©Dr Gbenga Adebayo www.gbengaadebayo.com . 2011.
Doctor Gbenga Adebayo's full profile and contact details will be made available by the second and concluding part of this class!

TEMPLE MATTERS by Bolanle and Daniel Enang

“ TEMPLE MATTERS” (SANCTIFIED SEXUALITY for Ladies) by Bolanle & Daniel Enang


‘I hate sex”! I blurted out to the bewilderment of my ‘D’ on that Friday night in the midst of our new friends.  I had never seen my sweetness look so shocked, embarrassed and humiliated! I am known for my frankness and bluntness; but this was way out of line.......or was it? Was it really?! I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be enraptured away in the moment of sensuality and heightened passion. After all, I had waited and dreamt of ‘this out of this world experience’. I had even taught ladies about sexual matters...what in the world was going on with my body and ability to get it right? What more Lord? I wondered!

I am the same person who a few years earlier was praying that my Lord Jesus and the host of heavens to “would dry every sexual desire in me as I was going to visit” my D” who was my fiancé at that time and had relocated a few years earlier. Honestly I could “chop and clean mouth” o and no one would know. Quite frankly, it was the TEST OF MY FAITH.........I had preached keeping yourself, etc.........but this was my love that I had not seen in two years. I mean handsome, broad shoulders, lean butts, with pink lips (very kissable). I was remembering the smell of his perfume and his deep, quiet, I daresay sexy voice. I couldn’t believe I would see him for 3 weeks in flesh after him being gone for so long. ”Lord, can I do this??” I wanted to grab him at the airport as soon as I laid my eyes on him........my heart ached: Lord, how can you ask me to hold on. To keep the gift of my body wrapped??? Haaa...........Lord!!!!!!!

Babes, especially Christian chicks are caught in a dichotomy of the awesome embodiment of the concept of sexual experience. Sexuality connotes different things: sex, love making, f....!. How on earth can you use Sanctified with such a word?? A hot sizzling p....zy isn’t thinking sanctification? Really, you think so?? Are you sensual or sexual?! (Gist of another day)

Pillar One: No one has the right to go down there without owning the meter! That ‘meter’ is bought with a price. I once heard this:  “ko si meter ni bee’ (means there is no meter in the vagina. SANCTIFIED SEXUALITY applies to everyone who desires to hold their temples in awe and sacredness unto the Lord and for their husband. A price that is absolutely priceless. It cannot be bought with money, gifts, trips abroad, diamonds, rubies, pearls, airtime (I mean, really, airtime?? Come on!) So chick, tell me what is your price? I hear some saying; “puleeaasee!! At least someone’s been down there and unlocked it. I am sure he is constantly servicing it...abeg make me sef enjoy the thing.” Hmnn...I WAITED NOT BECAUSE MY SEX TANK WAS DRY AND UNINTERESTED! GOD DID KEEP ME....I didn’t sleep with him. I asked for help and He helped me. I had my struggle with the kissing matter! Yes, we all struggle with something but we can and do overcome!!
MYTH: There are no virgins left on earth....just do it and get on with it.

Pillar Two: Ladies, the way we carry ourselves is very crucial. It spells sexuality or sensuality. When a man walks past us, what runs through his mind? Is it “I want to sleep with her or I’d like to hold her in my life forever?” We exude aromas...consciously or unconsciously. Our poises, the look, the walk, clothes, speech, pitch; everything speaks! It is called Considered-Dressing.”  
MYTH:  The experience of sex is only a copulating of genitals: penis and vagina.

Pillar Three: My friend calls our sex organs ‘THE ROD OF CORRECTION” and ‘WET TUNNEL’! I remember the first time I stepped out in my “birth suit’ into my wedding room....hmnn (gist). My body had been shaking....literally, expecting this day from the moment I had my first crush as a twelve year old pretty girl who was being chased by the HOTTEST boy on my street. (Yes o....holy sister B!!) Only grace can uphold your buckling knees in such situations. Scriptures says we are saved by grace. Sex is a big deal! I mean guys actually grow hard merely looking at a girl. I mean, how did the pregnant mad woman come about?.....rod entered tunnel na!
We hear and see the sex around and it feels like there is no reason to wait for the prince charming. Did someone hiss at the word WAIT?! Yes, wait I can hear a chick saying, “you who waited for 29 years for sex...cheap common sex, how did it benefit you? Big deal! Sex is for perverts. There is nothing godly about it. Once I have done it, it’s over.”  On my wedding night, when I saw his “ROD OF CORRECTION” I almost passed out.  Yee? God this is not what we discussed o....and you can imagine the drama..! Now I am loving it.

Pillar Four: Our bodies are truly beautifully crafted. We are wrapped gifts. We are delicate and need to be unwrapped with skill and patience. Who told us that the first taste of the pudding determines the entire meal. Love making is a rare gift that is served on a platter that tastes differently for each of us. I daresay, our bodies are like wine that tastes better after each sip. Babe, why are you allowing the bar tender to sip away at you? He is not the owner of this bar. He cannot pay for the meter; talk less of this ageless wine.
Sex is good; it’s better with the right person BUT best served at the right time...MARRIAGE! Full stop!!

Listen, it is worth the wait. Salivating leads us into trouble. You say, “I cannot but salivate when this baddest looking bobo walks past with his cologne trailing my nostrils”. Babe, if he is yours, he”ll stop and properly converse with you. Dating is for discourse NOT intercourse. Our anatomy depicts our two legs representing the pillars that keep the wrong man away. Close your legs. With buckling knees, stand up tall and walk past with your head high. Why settle for the bar tender who is trying to bribe his way into the tunnel when the real owner is a knock away?

SEX IS AWESOME! I DIDNT FIND OUT ON THE FIRST NIGHT...but after a few rampages with my D....wow!!!I make my demands now o.....I tell him, you can’t be tired. When he is sweating and tired.....omo.....I just start o! This calabar woman needs to “WORSHIP with her body.”  The myth that tells us to taste the pudding before the meal starts so we’d know whether or not it is sweet does not hold true.

What if you’ve been sexually active?
Yes, I hear you say you have been sexually active since you can remember and you don’t see a way out.

1. Place value on your body. A rumpled $50 is still worth every cent of fifty dollars. The point is will you allow this $50 be torn, used and thrown away? What are you saying to yourself? Babe, what is your worth??
2. Can you be “naked but not ashamed” before another “sista whose got your back”? Can you be accountable to another?
3. Trust God! God has your back and can hold you from going back to “his” bed. God is still in the business of keeping our bodies sanctified.

 According to D (Daniel’s writing)

• Confidence: I believe guys are attracted to confident ladies – Confidence comes from preparation; knowing who you are in God. Being aware of your distinctive assets: looks, how you speak, boldness, kindness, etc. These assets make you stand out and irresistible. Men naturally gravitate towards the confident woman. Your asset is your swagger!
• Truthfulness and Sincerity: Guys tend to suspect chicks. No matter how holy or sanctified you are, he is expecting to see an element of falsehood. Your catch is speak the truth, live the truth and be sincere even when it hurts you. No man wants to lose such babes.
• She knows what she wants and does not need anyone to validate her person – Nothing is as attractive as a babe who knows what she wants in any situation; especially when she communicates this with a sense of assertiveness and not arrogance.
• Guys desire a woman that can say NO! .....This is the mother of all attractions. When a chick says no to a broda, it makes him want to push further.  This stirs up his hunting instincts.
• State your turn on – Those in relationship should be honest enough with their partners to let them know what turns them on, so that he learns not to touch you in those places. For some, a mere touching of the feet by the opposite sex drives them crazy! What’s your turn on? We are not talking second or third base here (those are out of bounds!!!) that kind of info is for your husband; lest you be taken advantage of.

My dear sistas, you’ve heard it. The lady who desires to walk in sanctification should pay attention to these things. Keep the guys waiting for the unravelling of the mystery of your temple (your body and the wet tunnel). Look forward to the ‘solid rock’ when he gives you the bling bling...rings (wedding not only engagement ring). Omo, no ringie, no dingie o! Hebrews 13 v 4!!!!!

Other Resources
Dating with Integrity (John Holzmann; 1990). Wolgemuth & Hyatt, Publishers Inc.
5 Love Needs of Men & Women (Dr Gary & Barbara Rosberg, 2000). TYNDALE House Publishers

About our Authors
Daniel Enang is an engineer turned educator and information auditor. Currently, he drives an NGO, Joseph’s mandate that focuses on youth development. He is married to Bolanle who trained as real estate personnel. She is currently the Children’s pastor at St Stephen’s Anglican Church. They both love the Lord, his youth and children with incredible passion and live to be a blessing. They reside and work in Johannesburg, South Africa.