The Sex Series is back!!!
We conclude Doctor Gbenga Adebayo's Class on Achieving Sexual Intimacy in Marriage.
4. SheMyth: It is my husband’s job to satisfy me in bed
This is a rather common myth. It is perpetuated in kind by the widespread belief that the bed is an arena where men conquer women. They have heard many tales on the “exploits” of men in the bedroom. So many women enter marriage expecting their husband to also do exploits on them. Unfortunately for the vast majority, this expectation is dashed.
The Fact: Either female or male, the most important factor in your sexual gratification is you. Should you not want it, there is little anyone can do to make you a sexually fulfilled person. You cannot be an inactive passenger in the journey to sexually bliss. You have to be an active co-pilot. Tell your husband what you want and when you want it. It may surprise you, but many men are clueless on what really pleases their wives. Make your husband one of the educated lovers. Encourage him with sounds and moans of pleasure when he does the right things. Guide his hands when they are going astray. Guide his thrusts. Should he ejaculate before you have had your fill, try not to hiss. Express your disappointment in a sexy loving way and help him have another erection. For many men, the second erection lasts much longer than the first.
Take charge of your “sexual destiny” today. Change your mentality. You are not a passenger. You are a co-pilot.
5. SheMyth: He may not like how I look naked
I have found out that many women don’t like how they look naked. They wish they looked like someone other than themselves. In fact, many women cannot boldly stand in front of a full-length mirror and look at (if not admire) their own bodies. There are many reasons why this is so, but that is not the subject of discussion today. The issue is that many women believe the man in their lives also share this dislike of their delicate anatomy. They wonder and are tormented by the thought of what their partner (and even the society at large) thinks about their bodies. They are tormented by questions like: “...are my hips wide enough?”, “...are my breasts sagging?”, “...my buttocks are not round enough”, my legs are too thin or too fat”, .........(fill in the blank spaces).
The Fact: As far as sexual intercourse goes, most men don’t notice many physical things women are worried about. The more important things for a man in a sexual relationship is the enthusiasm of his partner and how well she satisfies the need to him to feel he is able to satisfy “his woman”. Some men will leave their fine “figure-8” wife at home and actually pay money to have sex with a short-fat-pudgy looking prostitute. As far as they are concerned, what the “ugly” prostitute may lack in beauty she more than makes up for in attitude, confidence, and enthusiasm (got that acronym? ACE. Memorize it! © Dr. Gbenga Adebayo)
I am not saying you shouldn’t strive to look the best you possibly can. No that is very far from my point. Practice hygiene. Look your best always. Dress smartly and in beautiful clothes. There is sexy lingerie for women of all sizes. Get a few. Exercise and live a healthy lifestyle.
Please stop worrying about what is or not about your body. Take charge of your bedroom. Your ACE (attitude, confidence, and enthusiasm) are more important.
7. HeSheMyth: Great sex is not for everyone
Please let me ask you: why do you have sex? Some people see sexual intercourse as a task that must be performed to keep the devil at bay. Some others believe sex is only intended for procreation needs only and as such couples should have sex only when they want to have children.
I believe sex is a great gift God has given couples for primarily for enjoyment and consequentially for procreation. Sex is to be enjoyed. You can have a great sexual life with your partner if you both commit to pleasuring one another.
Great sex may be hard work (which is not tied to the bedroom!), but it is a rewarding work. You can enjoy sex every single time. Yes. Every single time you can have heart-pounding-heavy-panting-wild-shouting sex!
Dr. Adebayo, a physician, is the Chief Executive Officer of Livinghealth International. He is a Consultant on Health and Wellness Solutions as well as Leadership and Soft-People Skills to many organisations and government parastatals. His consultancy and training clientele consists of firms in the Oil and Gas, Financial, Advertising, Educational, Consulting, and Health Safety & Environment (HSE) sectors as well as Faith Based Organizations and Public Institutions. He is passionate about helping organizations and institutions bridge the divide and find the connection between health and productivity. He is a member of the Governing Council of the Emergency, Crisis, and Risk Management Institute of Nigeria.
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The Sex Series is an online bible class where God's perspective on the subject of sex is taught in a no holds barred style