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Friday, August 12, 2011


Wow! I never imagined that the thoughts of my heart, when given a little voice could elicit such responses as I have had from the topic. Although I admit it is a very controversial topic, all I stated in the last write-up was my opinion based on what the Spirit of God revealed me to.
Firstly I must apologise for not giving a definition to masturbation in the first part (I never even knew there would be a second part!)- my bad. I assumed everyone already knew what I was talking about since it was so common a phenomenon, an open secret actually.

Secondly, much as I value every comment made, the whole essence of the piece was not to bring condemnation to the doorsteps of anyone, but to let all know that something might actually be wrong with what might have been considered safe all along. Like Jesus faced the woman caught in the act of adultery when He asked her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” (John 8:10-11 NKJV) The same way I stand to declare to all caught in its web to go and sin no more.

Like I said, I got very good opinions pointing out the fact that I didn’t mention step by step means (or method) of how to be delivered from the claws of masturbation (if it has any) and I intend to address such points here to the best of my ability.
I don’t want to talk as an authority on the subject and neither do I want to sound hypocritical in my approach to it as many times I have found out that people who criticize some matters the most with strong expressions of opposition and vehemence are actually guilty of such matters! They tend to indirectly talk to themselves without having a way out for themselves.

Defining Masturbation
To start with, let me attempt to define masturbation so that we don’t confuse it with some other things. According to Encarta dictionary, it means “to give yourself or somebody else sexual pleasure by stroking the genitals, usually to orgasm” while oxford dictionary says “it is to stimulate the genitals with the hand.” These definitions differ from homosexuality or lesbianism, although it could be practiced in any of the settings.

While homosexuality refers to sexual relations between or among men, lesbianism refers to sexual relations between or among women. Stroking could be with the hands or vibrators (and other sex toys) as is seen today, like some guys who buy female dolls with vagina (you know for what purpose! And did I just catch you say eww?) and girls who buy vibrators for clitoral stimulation. How different are these from hand stimulation? A bit refined though! But does that excuse the fact that the sacred has been abused? Let’s brood on that.

Masturbation in Marriage
Care should also be taken not to confuse genital stimulation by one’s spouse with masturbation as that in itself is part of the sexual relations between a husband and wife and this could occur in foreplay. But a situation where the one person now resorts to solo sex, possibly because of the unavailability of the spouse, is he/she excused from that wrong? No! Because by doing so, he/she has reduced the sex partner to a mere fantasy because hardly will anyone masturbate without having a sexual fantasy and the married ones may be tempted to think that they are not committing adultery since their fantasy is with their spouses! Wrong again. The error in this thinking is that such people do not realize that with time, they do not get as much pleasure from their spouse as they derive from solo sex and as such look forward to the solo sex rather than a healthy sexual relations with their spouse. To me, that’s a form of idolatry (that’s just my own thinking!)

Mastering Masturbation
That aside, how does a person master masturbation? That’s the one million dollar (or naira) question. My answer? I wish I knew. Don’t get me wrong by thinking I have no solution to this question, but what I may not have is the step by step method of being free. Follow me in my reasoning, if you please. I appreciate the fact that many are ‘hooked’ and want to be free. Our parents haven’t made it easy at all (because we were not thoroughly lectured on sex and possible perversions) and the church has not made it any better because they wield the gavel of judgment without showing the way out! We‘re only told things like this are wrong but hardly taught what to do to get out of the ‘prison’ but I in turn, fear such teachings because our ‘teachers’ are quickly overtaken by legalism and impose the ‘touch not, taste not, handle not’ doctrine.
I want to jump to say, “if you follow these steps, it’s d way out,” but the God I’ve come to know doesn’t work that way. In any case, many may not see things from my point of view, believing as far as they are concerned, that masturbation is God’s way of protecting them from fornication, but each time they indulged in it, they are weighed down by guilt. What is the way out?

I know I made reference to the fact that I was caught in the web of masturbation for a long time but people want to know how I broke free, the methods I followed, so they could be free. I will tell you, but let me disappoint you before reading on that it is not a step by step approach. Let me quickly point out here that Jesus, when he walked the earth, healed blindness in three different ways and drove out demons in different ways. I believe that when it comes to the issues of masturbation, being free is not limited to a particular step.

A Simple Heartfelt Prayer
Each time I masturbated, my heart would condemn me and I repented many times only to find myself in the same boat (hope I’m speaking your mind too). The way out for me was simple though I found it after a long time. Suffice it to say that deliverance services and altar calls did not do it, neither did fastings, but a simple heartfelt prayer with a determination to die did the trick. When I said the determination to die, I meant it.
The Lord opened my eyes to a scriptures that, when added to my desire, set me free. He said, “You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.” (Hebrews 12:4) By this He meant that sin does not thrive in death. A dead man cannot sin and if I consider myself dead or I bind myself with the oath of death should I commit sin, then sin will no longer be an issue. Sin finds root where desire is fanned.

I felt a burden roll away and immediately I did away with anything that contained any form of sensuality or nudity especially movies and guess what? The desire to masturbate is just no longer there. Does it mean I cannot fall into the trap again? Of course I can if I allow myself to be exposed to the ‘allergens’ but I have learnt from Apostle Paul that, "...whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy- (I should) meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8 (Emphasis mine)

The way out will be different for everyone
My point here is that the way God dealt with me would obviously be different from the way He would deal with another of His child. For some, He may require fasting, for others, He may require deliverance; God’s ways are mysterious but all I would say is that once we take our issues to Calvary, there’s always help for us provided we go with an open heart and a strong determination never to return. So for a divorced, single, or married person with distant relationship with the spouse, who wants to be free, the single most important criterion is to have an avid desire for freedom; that, the Father will not turn down.

With broken cord and shouts of victory, many cheers!

Wale Funsho, a medical doctor by training, is a teacher of the Word, who currently pastors the Faith Assembly Parish of the Redeemed Christian Church of God in Abuja.
He has a God-given mandate to impact his generation, especially the youths at all levels, bringing to bare true life issues as he leads them through the maze of life by the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
He is married to Abimbola and they are blessed with two children- Temiloluwa and Daniel.
He can be reached on

The Sex Series is an online bible class where God's perspective on the subject of sex is taught in a no holds barred style,

Monday, August 8, 2011

The Sex Series, Class 5, WHAT’S WRONG WITH MASTURBATION by Doctor Wale Funsho

The topic on masturbation is one which has generated a lot of controversies in the body of Christ; more so, since the Bible seem silent about the topic. While some dismiss the act as a normal part of a guy’s life (and the lady too), many others are crushed under the weight of guilt and they ask themselves whether they will ever be free. If I am in any way correct, masturbation and Christian are two words that have not been found to get along very well.

This brings to mind the big question, “Is there anything wrong with masturbation?” and if there is, what is wrong with it? I will not be in a hurry to say “Yes” or “No” but will want you to follow my line of reasoning, after all, we are entitled to our own opinion and mine is being explored here.

There are diverse opinions on the concept of masturbation and care be taken not put a stamp on the correctness or wrongness of it simply because from ones stand point, he/she wants it to be either right or wrong. Almost everyone will say that since the Bible is silent about the topic, we cannot speak for God in the determination of the goodness or evil of masturbation, but like Apostle Paul said, “…I think I also have the Spirit of God.”1

Depending on the research one reads anywhere, between 85-95% of men report that they masturbate once a month and 40-80% of women.2 Now, with such a large number of people involved in this, what could possibly be wrong about it?
Several philosophies have been held on the issue of masturbation ranging from the way the culture viewed it to the way Medical science and the church also viewed it. Initially, Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine was of the opinion that loss of semen, especially through masturbation weakened one and made him prone to disease and even death. The new thinking is that masturbation helps an individual discover his sexuality, reduces the risk of developing Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), relieves sexual tension, prevents the possible occurrence of prostate cancer in the males and reduces menstrual cramps in women3 as well as  itchiness and dryness in menopausal women.4

They however admitted that it could cause among other things, fatigue, groin pain and premature ejaculations.5 What seems to amaze me about the topic is the transition from terrifyingly evil to very safe and in fact beneficial to the well being of all. But being the conservative that I am, I tend to support the fact that there may be something wrong with masturbation. I agree that the Bible is silent on the issue of masturbation but are there not other issues that the same Bible is silent about and does this silence make them any good for us?  Some have said that the Bible is very explicit about intoxicating drinks but makes no mention of cigarette smoking, but we all know its potential ‘benefits’.

On the site they have an article entitled "Sexual Health Guide to masturbation." In the article they claim the following in regards to the ethics of masturbation, “While it once was regarded as a perversion and a sign of a mental problem, masturbation now is regarded as a normal, healthy sexual activity that is pleasant, fulfilling, acceptable and safe. It is a good way to experience sexual pleasure and can be done throughout life.” With the rise in pornography in the world this view point is understandable. Even as short as 50 years ago the idea of pornography was taboo, but as our culture has moved further and further down the road of the "sexual revolution" we have seen this view point shift. One is now abnormal if they in fact are not viewing pornography, and most masturbation is accompanied by the viewing of pornographic material.2

God created sex to be enjoyed, but within the limits of marriage. Any sexual activity outside that limits is considered lascivious and unclean by the scriptures.6 The categorical statement of Jesus on the issue of lust explains a lot on the issue for how is it possible for anyone to masturbate without having a preconceived sexual object of fantasy to take the person to heights of pleasure only he/she can experience?7 Like stated above, with the advent of sexual revolution and many people going into masturbation, few are so apt to talk about it because no matter how encouraging the new discoveries are about the benefits and safety of masturbation (solo sex), the police of the soul deep down criticises that act whenever indulged in.

For someone craving sex to resort to solitary sex is like a starving man enjoying the aroma of food that he cannot eat. The smell might be pleasurable, but ultimately it only increases the starving person’s torment.4
I started masturbating at an early age because I was exposed to a lot of things which a boy of my age shouldn’t know. But what could I do? In a house that accommodates extended family members, the security measures of the master of the house may be inadequate in ‘safeguarding’ the lives of the occupants of the house, especially the young ‘uns.’ My uncle came to live with us then, one of my father’s younger brothers and he stayed in the same room which I stayed. He was with us for years, thinking probably that he was doing his thing and we ours.

One day, he left a magazine (he sort of forgot to take it) and I saw ‘strange things in it, how that the penis could be used for things other than ‘peeing’. Unfortunately, we also had a house-help (be careful with your children when you decide to get one) who decided to show me what they were doing in the porn magazine. That was how it started. I was severally abused by house-helps thinking I was doing natural things that the book showed. So, when the helps left, I got hooked on masturbation. Any time I wanted to masturbate, I had to create an erotic scene in my mind, not knowing that I was committing adultery time and again, but when I grew old enough to know, I was stuck and guilt would not let me go.
According to Johann Christoph Arnold, “The so-called lines typically drawn between pornography, masturbation, one-night stands, and prostitution are actually an illusion. All of them are means used to attain sexual satisfaction without the “burden” of commitment. All reduce the mystery of sex to a technique for satisfying lust. And all of them are shameful – the secrecy of those who indulge in them betrays that fact more clearly than anything else.4, 8

God delivered me, and I am free. Free from the thought that I continuously violate the body God has given me for selfish reasons and that I can live with a conscience delivered from guilt. Don’t be deceived into thinking it’s all right to treat the sacred with contempt. Whoremongers and adulterers, God will judge!9 Do I think anything is  wrong with masturbation? I think everything is wrong with it! But should you disagree with my view point, ask yourself this before you do it again, “What if at the gate of heaven it is discovered that masturbation is abhorred by God, will it be that singular act that will negate your life-long commitment to God and send you to an eternal torment?” If giving it up the benefit of doubt to the Lord is what might save you ultimately, why not give it up now and not wait till when it might be too late?

With lots of love and certain assurance of heaven, remain blessed!

1.       1Corinthians 740
2.       A Christian View of Masturbation 
3.      Masturbation:Current medical opinions 
4.      The Morality of Masturbating; Towards a Christian View of Sexual Self-Stimulation Part 3: Masturbation: A Threat To One’s Marriage?
5.      What are the side effects of masturbation from medical point of view?
6.      Mark 720-22; 2Corinthians 1221; Galatians 519; Ephesians 53-5; Colossians 35.
7.      Matthew 528
8.      Romans 1312-13
9.      Hebrews 135, 1Corinthians 316-17

Wale Funsho, a medical doctor by training, is a teacher of the Word, who currently pastors the Faith Assembly Parish of the Redeemed Christian Church of God in Abuja.
He has a God-given mandate to impact his generation, especially the youths at all levels, bringing to bare true life issues as he leads them through the maze of life by the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
He is married to Abimbola and they are blessed with two children- Temiloluwa and Daniel.
He can be reached on

The Sex Series is an online bible class where God's perspective on the subject of sex is taught in a no holds barred style,